Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops