2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops