Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops