Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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i like turtals and kids

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Jersey Shore

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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