What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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YOU

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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Why did Edna fall off a cliff? Edna is blind, and so lacks the visual perception and spatial awareness of other hillwalkers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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