Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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The Game

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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24!

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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