what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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A Jew! Bless you.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops