What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops