How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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knock knock piss off

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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