what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

What do you call a black man that has sex with women against their will? A rapist. The fact that he is black does not pertain to this situation.

How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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