What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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HEY YOU!!!!

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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