Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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Chicken penis.

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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