How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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speech and debate.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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