roses are red, violets are violet.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops