What's that in the road.... a-head?

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

Nippies

What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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