Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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I never asked for this.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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