Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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69

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Fags are gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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