Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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child labor

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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Bob dole

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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You have cancer

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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womens rights

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Abortion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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