Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

this is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Mormons having fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

4

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-Knock Knock -Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops