*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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