Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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the love boat

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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