Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops