A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

This is a joke setup.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

A Sloth runs...

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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