Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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YOU

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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