What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops