Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

Knock knock. Come in.

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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