if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

That's not what she said.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

womens rights

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Take off your shoes.

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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