- Anti Joke

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

Cleveland winning something

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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