Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

69

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill an american? You shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -18

give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops