Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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