What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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