How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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What killed the name cool? Coolio

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Ebola

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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