All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops