What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops