How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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chuck norris

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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