Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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the WNBA

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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Women's rights

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Wy did the chicken?

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops