A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock who's there aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops