Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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You're welcome!

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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matty russel are you on here

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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