Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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religion.

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The NBA and womens sports

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Homosexuals are gay.

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Donald Trump

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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