Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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