A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Barbara Streisand

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Knock Knock.. Who's There? Boo.. Boo Who? Book...

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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