If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops