Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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what do u call a apple a apple

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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What is White over Black? Society.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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