There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Penis

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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Chicken penis.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Breast cancer.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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