Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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