Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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LOL May Wong

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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whats long and green? weed

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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