Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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I was born.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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No.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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