If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops