I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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