What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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whats a willy? -brock

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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