Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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try slamming a revolving door

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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captcha: all yer base

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops