- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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religion.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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The NBA and womens sports

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Donald Trump

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Homosexuals are gay.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Anything involving women..

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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