A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Women's rights

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops